Poetry

Youth’s A Stuff Will Not Endure

Bittersweet

By Jesi Scott

What I remember most

are his eyes like the Texas skies in winter when the sun shines

after the snow falls and covers the browned leaves,

the grey-green boughs of the evergreen trees.

How those eyes sparkled, lit from within from some hidden sunbeam

he carried in his soul,

and how they smiled at me, and tried to see through

the walls I erected to hide my heart from the world.

 

What I remember most are his hands,

mine in his, his covering mine,

trying to keep warm against the cold night air,

both his hands pulling me into his arms in the

privacy of that hidden alcove of red metal statuary

in the middle of the evening crowd,

and how those hands

-warm, strong, sure-

could have held my future

if I would have allowed it.

 

What I remember most

is that first kiss, sweet and soft,

so gentle and tentative, not pushing for more,

but longing-filled, and made all the more bittersweet

by the starlight that graced us and silvered his hair,

the tenderness with which he held me close,

and the brief ache in my heart when it was over and he said goodnight

and drove the long and winding road back to his own door.

 

More than anything else, I remember

how I let him down and broke my own heart

-no explanations, no reasons, only excuses-

because I was too young, too inexperienced,

too unsure of myself;

because I was too afraid of my feelings where he was concerned,

because he made me feel happy and good and beautiful,

because I knew differently

-I didn’t deserve him-

and so I remember and remember and remember…

Jesi Kay
Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

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