You Never Know What Voice Is Going To Speak To You

I’m sitting here in my kitchen having my second cup of tea and being fairly lazy. Most of the housework is done but there are so many things I could/should be doing and I’m debating whether or not to continue being lazy and just taking it easy today. The sun is shining and it’s 93 degrees at noon here in the mid-cities area of Dallas/Fort Worth. Really, if you look at it mathmatically, I have less days to be lazy at my age so I should accept the arduous responsibility of enjoying these last summer days of what could actually be the last days of my life, right? Hmmm….housework, writing, or going outside and enjoying the sun? What will actually happen is I’ll end up doing a combination of the three because I’m me and I can’t stand being too completely idle. Idle hands and devil’s work and all that.

But, while I’ve been sitting here contemplating my choices I’ve also had in the back of my mind so many things that have come to my attention over the last few days. What brought things home to me was that as I was sitting here listening to my music a song came on that I haven’t heard in AGES -You Rock My World by Michael Jackson. Well…that made me go find the video. I had completely forgotten it was the Brando video. And from there I went down the path my brain usually goes when I hear Michael. I had to go watch Black or White and then The Man In The Mirror. God, those were some powerful songs back then. Still are. Despite everything, he did try to get the message out there that we’re all human and change starts with us. And the man could dance.

With everything that’s happened recently with the Charleston shootingsthe legalization of same sex marriage, the girl who was brutally handled by a white police officer at an end-of-school pool party, and then Sandra Bland (don’t get me started on this one, I have a huge problem with the way the officer handled that whole thing)…it feels as if we are taking an incredibly giant step backwards and one small step forward. What the hell is wrong with people?

I am white. I am so glow-in-the-dark white it isn’t funny. Recently, my eldest son, who was trying to make a point about my hair, described me as ultra-conservative, and I’ve been having a problem with that. Because I’m not. I know what he meant and how he meant it. But, suddenly, I realized how being silent about my views and my personal beliefs have come across in a way I didn’t intend for them to be seen. No, I’m not outspoken about my political or religious views. Personally, I feel that my opinions are just that, MY opinions. I have a right to express them or not express them.  However, I have felt, often, as if I would be ostracized were I to give voice to my thoughts. The few times I have been brave enough to express them, I was told I was wrong and then lectured about how I was wrong. So, I became one of the silent majority who are quickly becoming the minority.

I have been a victim of racism. No, I don’t mean reverse racism because how can there be reverse racism? To me, reverse racism means equality, or am I wrong? Racism: the belief that ALL members of EACH race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races. Equality: the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities. Yes, I, a white woman, have experienced racism, and no, I will not talk about it.

I have been discriminated against because of my gender and my age as well as being shunned because I am able to stay home and take care of my kids. No, I haven’t had to deal with the same level of mistreatment other races have had thrown at them, but that doesn’t mean I can’t understand. I don’t know what homosexuals or transgenders go through, though I hope I give them the same consideration that I would give to anyone else, because to me we are all equal. We are all human. We all have hopes and dreams and problems and victories. And it’s time to get beyond all of the crap. We have got to STOP all of the stupidity. Get over our egos and pride and hate. It’s time to reset/retrain our brains and put on shades that let us see each other as people, and not as classifications.

It’s a turf war
On a global scale
I’d rather hear both sides
Of the tale
See, it’s not about races
Just places

I’m going to try and begin speaking up more often because I feel it’s important that my children know where I stand on certain subjects, that they know that their mother does have a voice and wants to use it for good. Not that my oldest has the same problem. He will let you know exactly what he thinks, quite bluntly. And I admire him for that ability. I hope he never loses it or hides it the way I did.

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

We have to make a change. Now.

Jesi Kay
Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

7 Replies to “You Never Know What Voice Is Going To Speak To You

    1. I know. But for a very long time, I’ve felt as if I didn’t matter, not any part of me, but most especially my thoughts on anything. I’m learning just how wrong I was.

        1. You know what, I don’t ‘like’ this. It’s not right. And while it may be too late to change the past, it isn’t too late to change the future. So, no more hiding and thinking we don’t matter. We do. And we count.

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