#BeReal,  Thoughts

Sometimes You Just Need To Hear The Words

Dear Friend 2

Date: Today

 

My Darling Friend,

I was reading a blog post today and something in it brought you so clearly to mind that I felt an overwhelming sense of urgency to connect with you. It’s been much too long a while since I’ve seen you or heard your voice so I thought I’d send you a little note to let you know I’m thinking about you. Maybe you think I’ve forgotten about you but I could never do something so hurtful. I think about you every day; I am just not always able to sit down and let you know it. Life is so busy lately, what with the kids and everything that’s been going on, that I am exhausted by the end of the day and my only wish is for a few hours of decent sleep so I’m not a caffeine zombie the next day.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just sit down at the table and have a cup of tea and just chat without interruption for as long as it took to get everything talked about? You always bring new insight into any situation and you inspire me with your words and optimism. I always feel dull and boring though, and so unoriginal. But I make you laugh, and for some reason you stay and are still my friend, despite my faults and imperfections. You aren’t afraid of my dark side and you stand beside me and help me fight my demons. And that’s why I love you.

Lately, however, I’ve noticed that you seem to be fighting demons of your own, alone. You so rarely speak of your own problems and are so often cheerful that I think sometimes people forget you have your own dark side battles. But I’ve noticed. Your voice has been absent from the social sphere. Your lovely face and smile are missing in photos. You are quiet lately, much too quiet, and you’ve withdrawn your Self from everything around you. You haven’t asked for help or let anyone know that you are drowning.

And that makes me sad. I love to hear you making jokes and trying to encourage and inspire your friends and people you don’t know. Your smile brings a ray of sunshine on even the darkest day and helps lighten a burden someone is carrying, though I’m sure you’re never aware of it. I so wish you could know how much you mean to people, how much you are loved and thought of by everyone. How I wish you could believe it.

So, here I am by your side, armor on, shield and sword at the ready, to guard your back and fight for you. Because you deserve to know you aren’t alone, that you are amazing, and that you are loved, and you are worth that love. You are worth fighting for.

And I will stand here in front of this mirror, Dear One, and tell you that every day for the rest of your glorious life.

Jesi Scott is an aspiring writer of novels, a poet, and blogger. She has guest-blogged over at The Well-Tempered Bards, and has a post featured at For Love Of…. Jesi has two poems published in Memories of Mist, a literary anthology, and one published story in a newsletter. She is currently working on releasing her first poetry collection as well as writing her first novel. When not writing, Jesi can be found getting lost in bookstores, singing and dancing around the house, experiencing culture with friends, and generally having fun with her four sons when they aren’t driving her weeping into her closet, which she calls her Padded Cell. She loves to rescue stray bookmarks, as well as books, and has opened her heart to any and all stories needing a home. Archery is her current favorite thing ever but you might want to stand back a little as she still has a tendency to drop the bow occasionally.

18 Comments

  • Dawn D

    Wow! Is this autobiographic, or is this about a particular friend? You have a way of making me feel like it’s really me you’re talking to, or a dear friend, or any one of us really!
    Your way with words is always so… astute.
    A few things I want to pick up on though. You are funny and quick witted and supportive… I’m not surprised anyone would want to be your friend!
    Sending love, as I know how difficult it is to help those who feel they’d burden us if they told us of their worries… which makes us worry more than they know, and causes us a different kind of pain.

    As usual, thank you for touching my soul with your words.
    Hugs!
    XO

    • Jesi

      It’s a little bit of things I want to tell a few people but also myself because there are Big Things going on right now that are trying to throw some kinks into Life. Mine and some others. And I was thinking how wonderful it would be if I could some people how I felt about them because I think they need to hear it. But then I realized I’ve also been hiding away and maybe I need to just hear I’m being thought of, too. Then I realized I needed to hear it from myself. If that makes ANY sense at all. 🙂
      And one of those people I was thinking about was you. Truly. You lift me up so often and I think you need to know you are thought about.

      • Dawn D

        Well… first of all, thank you. I think of you too, even if life is a bit crazy at the moment, so I am less present here too 🙂

        But it does totally make sense, that you needed to hear it from yourself too, which is why I asked if it was autobiographical. Sorry, the right words are escaping me, I’m quite tired, a bit overworked, underslept, overstressed… 🙂 And apparently I made up two of these words, as WP doesn’t want to recognise them 😉
        This is exactly what I meant by that though. Wondering whether you had realised that you’re a good friend, always lifting other people up, have a wicked sense of humour and are very talented.
        I know that, sometimes, we have to write it down, because if we write it down, we sort of force our subconscious to accept it for what it it, rather than ignore it, bury it underneath all that stress and work and tiredness… It’s sometimes good to remind ourselves that we are, indeed, good friends, and pleasant people, people whom our friends enjoy to be with and all those important things too. And that it’s Ok to ask for help when we need it, when we’re drowning, even if just a little, because it pains even ourselves when we notice how poorly we are doing and realise we should have known it all along, if only we’d been willing to stop and listen to that inner voice.
        If *I* make any sense 😉

        Ok, gotta go have some food, and hopefully tonight I don’t have weird dreams that wake me up 🙂
        And when I say weird, I mean dreams about words, and language, and so on. Sigh! 😀

        Love you! And thank you for this post, as usual, it moves me, as I already said 🙂
        You are truly gifted for touching me.
        Thank you!
        XO

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