Blog,  Encouragement

Reblogged From For Love Of…

From my friend Amber’s blog:

 

We are just right…

First it started with a conversation with my mom that broke my heart.

Then yesterday, I came across three blog posts by three different beautiful women and it had me pissed off.

It’s not a secret in life that most of us are not 100% happy with ourselves. If given a free pass to change anything about our bodies, I am sure each of us could without a blink of an eye come up with several different things we would gladly tweak to make better. Our hair, our skin, teeth, feet, weight; there is always something. But why?

When we look at pictures of ourselves, we cringe at the less than perfect shots. Have you ever found yourself saying to a snapshot-  Omgosh my belly?, What is with my hair?, Why couldn’t I have put on make-up that day?, Is my hair line receding? I didn’t know that I was going bald back there! Why can’t we look at the picture and remember the great moment we thought was worthy of taking a picture for? Why do we always have to see what is wrong with us?

Being overweight has never been a struggle for myself, but it has always been in my life. I grew up with a mother who hated what she saw in the mirror (and still does). I grew up with friends who have never been satisfied with what they saw looking back at them. I’ve never understood what they personally were going through, how could I? I am the outsider who “needs to eat more bread”, as I have been told by some.

When I look in the mirror, I only see me.

I don’t see my size, I only know when to eat less junk and walk a little more when my pants are feeling snug. 🙂 (When this happens I whine and my husband makes me feel better by reassuring me that it is just the washing machine on the fritz again, must have shrunk them.)

I don’t see the grays popping up on my scalp. (I rearrange my part so they stay well hidden.)

I don’t see the lines on my face etched around my mouth as I age. (If I smile brightly, they stay hidden. So I smile often.)

I don’t wear make-up everyday. (That stuff gets expensive!)

When I look in the mirror, I only see me.

It took me a long time to see what I see today. And it took courage and back bone. At one time I saw ugliness when I looked at myself in the mirror. No matter what I did to my hair, my face, my clothes, who looked back at me was not what I wanted to see.

My insides had become dark and I was a stranger even to myself. Then came a point that a change had to be made. I wiped away the make-up and allowed my fire engine red cheeks flame brightly. I took out the contacts, put back on the glasses and allowed four-eyes to emerge again.

It was hard. I was ridiculed once again as I had been as a child. From my boss no less. Sure, she tried to be polite about it, but at the end of the day I went from being beautiful to less than and she didn’t like the new image. My friends didn’t say a word. I am not sure how many cared enough to really notice. My family saw me though. They understood my changes and told me I was beautiful no matter what. But their words only meant so much, I had to feel it for myself, see it for myself, be it for myself.

Today I am happy with me, though I have my days that I wish I could change something. Especially when my washing machine starts acting up again.

There are too many people in my life that all suffer from the same epidemic… that they do not see what I see. Well here is my message to you…

You say you are too fat or too skinny.

You say you are not pretty/handsome enough.

You say you are not perfect.

You say your hair isn’t just right.

You say your teeth are crooked.

You say …

I say stop.

We are just right.

~AJP

Jesi Scott is an aspiring writer of novels, a poet, and blogger. She has guest-blogged over at The Well-Tempered Bards, and has a post featured at For Love Of…. Jesi has two poems published in Memories of Mist, a literary anthology, and one published story in a newsletter. She is currently working on releasing her first poetry collection as well as writing her first novel. When not writing, Jesi can be found getting lost in bookstores, singing and dancing around the house, experiencing culture with friends, and generally having fun with her four sons when they aren’t driving her weeping into her closet, which she calls her Padded Cell. She loves to rescue stray bookmarks, as well as books, and has opened her heart to any and all stories needing a home. Archery is her current favorite thing ever but you might want to stand back a little as she still has a tendency to drop the bow occasionally.

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