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#OctPoWriMo Day7-Unsent Letters

In my second attempt at playing catch-up with the October Poetry Challenge I am re-posting a poem I wrote in 2015 because it was written as a “letter” for someone. And that’s what Day 7’s prompt was: unsent letters. If you were to write a letter to someone who would it be for and what would it be about. My poem was for a “what-if”. My reason for posting it is that I only found out about a year ago that my “what if” could have been a sure thing if not for the interference of someone close to me who, knowing how I felt, deliberately kept me from the truth of the matter and thereby changing the course of my life and the other person’s. This one thing could have changed my life in an astounding way and I’m still trying to figure out how to accept the knowledge of the interference.

The conclusion I have arrived at currently is that it doesn’t change anything except that now I know the truth of why a certain person acted towards me the way they did, and it makes so much more sense now. Also, I know now that this person did hold me in a certain regard and that the last note I was given meant as much to them as it did to me. Bittersweet memories that I still treasure to this day.

Enjoy the poem, and please leave a comment if you like it.

<3 Jesi

Star-Crossed

By Jesi Scott

 

Lost goodbyes,

broken promises,

words to say left unspoken,

the should-have-been becomes

the never-meant-to-be…

You,

with hair of jet

and those blue-sky eyes,

that sun-bright smile and hearth-fire voice,

you who hung the moon in her sky

and saw through her self-inflicted invisibility,

do you ever ask “what if”?

Does could-have-been slip through your mind

like a soft caress from her hand?

Does the memory of a girl

with honey hair and storm-cloud eyes,

shy smile and soft, snowfall voice

ever gently embrace you, leaving ghost kisses upon your lips

to fade away with the stars

at the coming of the morning?

Jesi Kay
Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

4 Replies to “#OctPoWriMo Day7-Unsent Letters

  1. Wow! That’s a harsh “what if”!
    I have one too. Someone I really liked, felt an attraction to, and felt that attraction was reciprocal… I never dared go further, because I was betrothed to my future abuser. Strike that, to the one I would later discover had been my abuser from the beginning.
    What if I had followed my gut? Would I have ended marrying this guy and living a happy life full of love and respect, or would it have turned out to be an even worse experience?
    I have no way to know, I can only dream, play with possibilities.
    But life with regrets is not a good idea. I have just finished reading a bed-time story for my youngest. And I know I am thankful to have my children in my life. If I had made different choices, they wouldn’t exist. So… I try to enjoy life as it is now.
    Still, sometimes, I wonder… what if?
    XO

    1. Huh? I didn’t think it was that harsh, actually. It wasn’t meant to be. It was simply a wondering if perhaps my what-if ever thought of me as a what-if. I know it probably wouldn’t have lasted because we were definitely too young but you never know. And I don’t regret much except that I never told him the once I did have a chance because I was too honest to hurt him or the girl he was with at the time. I wouldn’t be who I am right now if it had worked out, or maybe I would be more me or someone completely different. I don’t regret my life but I do wonder what-if sometimes.

      1. well, I think it harsh to learn, many years later, that something could have been. At least, I’ve never seen my what-if since then, and I have now found my happy-man. So… yeah, I guess for me it wouldn’t be as much of a bad what-if now either…

        1. Knowledge is everything, even if that knowledge is something you can’t do anything about. For me it means answers to open-ended questions that have haunted me for a long time. Now, I can move on from them. And that is a good thing. 🙂

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