Health,  Life,  Love,  Parenting,  poem,  Running,  Writing

Mending A Broken Heart

 

Good morning, everyone. How have you all been doing? I have been doing great actually, for the most part. 🙂

I know it’s been a bit since I’ve written on here but mostly because I’ve been doing more writing offline than on. Usually when I write I post whatever I’ve written almost immediately but that’s brought me to a point where everything new is being posted. That makes it hard to come up with new material that you haven’t seen that might go into a book. And it looks like I may be getting to the point where I have an actual book of my very own poetry to offer up to the gods. And to you. I’m excited.

For all of July I have had an accountability partner. I wake up early, get my tea and take the dogs out, and then meet my partner on Twitter. We write for an hour and check in every 30 minutes through Twitter. We’ve been meeting every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. For me this has been a very fruitful experience. In a matter of 13 days I wrote more poems than I did all of 2017. One day in fact, I wrote six poems in that hour. Granted, they were small and probably not very good but that’s six poems I didn’t have before. I am still meeting a partner (though it’s a different one now) and I’m still writing. I don’t have as many poems written for August as I did for July but it’s still more than I would have if I were not writing at all. And that’s always a good thing.

I’m also slowly getting back into running again. I think it’s been almost a month since I began walking around my neighborhood (no treadmill and can’t afford to go to a gym) and I’ve recently begun doing small interval runs. So far I’ve only managed 4 one-minute runs but I couldn’t even do that when I first began again. My wonky thyroid really kicked my game way down and I’m having to start right back at the beginning again. But it’s all good. I will be going in a week or so to have my thyroid levels checked and I hope to hear some good news. I may still have to take medication but the dosage was already lowered so I’m hopeful I may be off it soon, and for good. The exercise has really helped in that as well. Truth be known I’ve actually been off my meds for about a month (mostly because timing is just bad all around and I can’t get a refill until I have my next checkup, which is soon) and I haven’t been experiencing too many side effects. In fact, it’s only been the last week that I started experiencing any at all, and that’s been fairly minor: just a little body temp regulation at night and trouble falling asleep. No anxiety or depressive cycles at all and THAT’S a big deal. The little bit of running I’ve done recently has helped as well. My body is beginning to feel stronger and I’m hoping to get back into shape soon. So, really, I’m getting everything sorted and doing as well as I can hope for now.

Also, today is the first day of school for my kids. I’ve got two back in school and two out. Of the two out of school, one is in Ann Arbor, Michigan and the other is staying up way too late and sleeping in way too late and then complains about not having enough time to do what he wants. So, being a typical teenager with nothing else to do. I think he’s going to miss school soon. As for me, I have a quiet house again and will be able to write in peace. I seriously need a house where I can have my own dedicated office with a door I can close. Le sigh…it’s always something. 😉

Now, a treat for you. Here is one of my new poems for you to enjoy. Shouldn’t need any explanation other than none of my kids have had a broken heart (yet, thankfully) but I was watching my youngest and thinking about the future and what I would and wouldn’t do for him or any of my kids.

Hope you all have a happy Monday and I’ll see you again soon!

<3 Jesi

 

Mending a Broken Heart

By Jesi Scott

 

I held his heart in my hands

In pieces shattered, a broken land,

“Can you fix it?” he’d asked

While I stared at the impossible task.

“I’ll do what I can,” I said,

Placing a kiss on his forehead.

I sat and pondered and tried to start

But how best to mend his broken heart?

With needle and thread to keep it together?

Not glue; too weak for changes in weather…

Metal would give it strength,

But time and rust would wear its length.

So I thought and then thought some more

Until the answer came as if called for.

I began putting the pieces back one by one,

Working throughout the daytime sun

And on through the darkening night,

Continuing on despite

The pain in my back and bleeding fingertips,

Making sure there’d be no rips.

Then one day I was done,

And I smiled at the war I’d won.

For when you breathed life into their chests

You knew, for them, you’d never rest.

So when my son’s heart was broken

I listened to the words spoken

From my own, and heeded what they’d said,

Then gave him my whole one instead.

And with the love I’ve never denied

I sewed up the pieces of his then closed it inside

Myself.

Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

3 Comments

  • Dawn D

    Wonderful news all round Jesi!
    And beautiful poem too! Really enjoyed it.
    Though, lately, my own kids have been breaking MY heart, and I have been left to ponder what I would to for them. And I believe the answer, for me, is to stand up tall and teach them that even if you love someone, you can (and should) say no to things you cannot live with. That it doesn’t mean you don’t love them any more, but that you just need to take care of yourself first, like you’d understand them taking care of their needs first.
    XO

    • Jesi

      First, I am so glad to hear from you!!!!!
      Second, I have been where you are. It took me a long time and having my eldest son break my heart to realize that doing what’s best for my kids sometimes means doing what’s best for you. They won’t like it at first, or maybe you won’t. But eventually, after the dust settles, everything usually works out in the way it needs to. It may not mean better; it may mean simply different. After all, and like you said, you’d understand them taking care of their needs first. And I’ve given a lot to my kids and always will. I’d still do anything for them, but now it’s within reason and with understanding that I have needs as well that are just as important. And I don’t think that makes either of us selfish or uncaring, simply adults making mature decisions. So, you have my support! *hugs and kisses* to you too, dearest!

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