Compassion,  Poetry

Life Goes On

Hello, my Darlings.

Life throws you into a spin every now and then, and right now it’s my turn to be thrown off the merry-go-round. The last two weeks have been busier than I wanted them to be and will continue to be busy until after June 6th. There have been band concerts and school activities for all the kids, and, of course, my birthday thrown in the middle. There are still band concerts to attend and at least one more band banquet, which will make three weekends in a row I’ve had the opportunity to really dress up for an occasion. Then, graduation for Big Son. All of that going on, and Life decided to throw the stop on the ride right in the middle of the mess.

You see, this past Friday, I lost my ex-sister-in-law. It was sudden and unexpected and I’m still trying to accept it. I’m floating back and forth between sadness and what the f**k. Her death was one of those preventable ones, the ones where it could have been prevented with just a little care and concern for one’s own health. And what bothers me the most is why the hell in this digital age no one in her family checked her social media sites to see what was going on…for two days. And so, for two days she suffered in pain. Not that I’m really blaming the family. I’m just angry at the situation and I know there really was nothing anyone could do. I’m mad that she died. I’m mad that Big Son lost one of the only other females in his life who he was close to. And I’m mad that I lost my friend. My ex-sister-in-law and I were close during the marriage and we remained in contact after the divorce. Big Son was her favorite person in the whole world and she doted on him from the day he was born until she passed Friday night.

Honestly, I think it was the suddenness that has thrown me for a loop. Her heart just stopped working after her condition stabilised. And now, my heart is cracked just a bit. It will heal; it always heals. But the scar this one leaves will be a long one.

I am dusting off a poem I wrote earlier this year. I’ve posted it once before but now, it is more poignant to me than before. And once the hurt has passed away I will sit down and write something for a beautiful spirit that left a bright purple smile on many a person’s soul.

I love you, Terry. Rest in peace, my sister.

Jesi

Second Chances

By Jessica Scott

 

Life is gone; the flower has bloomed and faded,

is withered, brown, and drying on the stalk.

Winter has sent it to its rest;

There is no spring coming to breathe new life into it.

 

 

But the seeds the flower created, hope in miniature,

They hold the promise of a brighter future,

Not for the one that died,

But for those who come after.

Jesi Scott is an aspiring writer of novels, a poet, and blogger. She has guest-blogged over at The Well-Tempered Bards, and has a post featured at For Love Of…. Jesi has two poems published in Memories of Mist, a literary anthology, and one published story in a newsletter. She is currently working on releasing her first poetry collection as well as writing her first novel. When not writing, Jesi can be found getting lost in bookstores, singing and dancing around the house, experiencing culture with friends, and generally having fun with her four sons when they aren’t driving her weeping into her closet, which she calls her Padded Cell. She loves to rescue stray bookmarks, as well as books, and has opened her heart to any and all stories needing a home. Archery is her current favorite thing ever but you might want to stand back a little as she still has a tendency to drop the bow occasionally.

9 Comments

  • Helena Hann-Basquiat

    I am so sorry. I’m one of those people that tend to disappear from social media and I don’t give much thought about it. In an age when we can be connected all the time, it is difficult to balance life in the flesh and life on line. I’m sorry you lost your friend. May your grieving be a healing experience.

    • Jesi

      Thank you Ken. I’m very much the same. I can take time away from everything. I go quiet. Every so often I just need to get away and recharge. But this time it wasn’t that reason though I wish it was.

  • lrconsiderer

    Oh Jesi I’m so sorry you lost such an important person from your life. That’s atrocious that no-one checked on her, and so sad 🙁 THIS is why we all need connections. Poor Big Son. I’m so sad for him, too 🙁 Your poem is beautiful but I’ve a feeling those positive last notes may take a while to feel. Take all the time you need <3

    • Jesi

      Thanks Lizzi. I’m ok. I fluctuate between anger and sadness. I’m mostly concerned now for Big Son. They were very close. He is her sole heir. Everything goes to him. That’s how much she loved him. And he’s taking it hard.

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