Hello, my Darlings.
Life throws you into a spin every now and then, and right now it’s my turn to be thrown off the merry-go-round. The last two weeks have been busier than I wanted them to be and will continue to be busy until after June 6th. There have been band concerts and school activities for all the kids, and, of course, my birthday thrown in the middle. There are still band concerts to attend and at least one more band banquet, which will make three weekends in a row I’ve had the opportunity to really dress up for an occasion. Then, graduation for Big Son. All of that going on, and Life decided to throw the stop on the ride right in the middle of the mess.
You see, this past Friday, I lost my ex-sister-in-law. It was sudden and unexpected and I’m still trying to accept it. I’m floating back and forth between sadness and what the f**k. Her death was one of those preventable ones, the ones where it could have been prevented with just a little care and concern for one’s own health. And what bothers me the most is why the hell in this digital age no one in her family checked her social media sites to see what was going on…for two days. And so, for two days she suffered in pain. Not that I’m really blaming the family. I’m just angry at the situation and I know there really was nothing anyone could do. I’m mad that she died. I’m mad that Big Son lost one of the only other females in his life who he was close to. And I’m mad that I lost my friend. My ex-sister-in-law and I were close during the marriage and we remained in contact after the divorce. Big Son was her favorite person in the whole world and she doted on him from the day he was born until she passed Friday night.
Honestly, I think it was the suddenness that has thrown me for a loop. Her heart just stopped working after her condition stabilised. And now, my heart is cracked just a bit. It will heal; it always heals. But the scar this one leaves will be a long one.
I am dusting off a poem I wrote earlier this year. I’ve posted it once before but now, it is more poignant to me than before. And once the hurt has passed away I will sit down and write something for a beautiful spirit that left a bright purple smile on many a person’s soul.
I love you, Terry. Rest in peace, my sister.
By Jessica Scott
Life is gone; the flower has bloomed and faded,
is withered, brown, and drying on the stalk.
Winter has sent it to its rest;
There is no spring coming to breathe new life into it.
But the seeds the flower created, hope in miniature,
They hold the promise of a brighter future,
Not for the one that died,
But for those who come after.