#BeReal Life Writing

Just Not Feeling It


Dear Lunatics,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I wish I could say that there was a really good reason for why I haven’t written in so long. Well, actually, there are several very good reasons, which I am not going to talk about in a public forum. Basically, life has just been overwhelming. Mostly, though, I just haven’t felt motivated to write. Frankly, I haven’t been motivated to do very much at all lately. I’ve been reading a little bit (Middle English literature, Order of Seven by Beth Teliho, and After Alice by Gregory Maguire), knitting a lot (because it helps me take my mind off of my other problems), and watching movies, among other things. But no writing.

It’s not for lack of inspiration. There’s been plenty of that recently. One week in which it seemed as if there was a death of a celebrity every day is definitely something to write about. And I thought about it. I even composed posts and poems in my head but they never made it onto a single page. Even today, I read about China (Hong Kong) banning the sale of ivory for good. Now that is definitely something to write about, right?

But I’m just not feeling it. Truth to tell, I’m not sure what I feel like except overwhelmed and exhausted and frustrated. Lately all I feel like doing is curling up into a ball and sleeping until everything sorts itself out. Other times I just want to escape to some tropical island and lay around on the beach under the sun with the ocean surf in my ears and the sun on my skin and forget about everything for a while. Maybe I need a vacation.

What do you do when you are “just not feeling it”?

A part of me wants to write, it really does, and I’ve had some good ideas recently but I almost deliberately don’t record them in any fashion. So I forget them. In a way, I’m consciously sabotaging myself. Has this ever happened to you?

For now, I’m just going to keep on reading and knitting and working through things. I know I’ll get back into writing when I’m ready. Until then I’ll have some good material to feed my mind and soul, and something pretty and colorful to work on and give to someone when it’s completed.

I am still here.

xo Jesi


Jesi Kay
Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

4 Replies to “Just Not Feeling It

  1. I didn’t really want to like this post, but the raw honesty in it deserves my ‘like’.
    I know that feeling like all you want to do is curl up in a ball and wait for things to get better. Sometimes, it’s not such a bad idea really. And at other times, acting on it helps. I experienced that yesterday.

    Maybe look at this link, if it could help?
    Or that one?

    I know they helped me.

    Hugs, and keep knitting. Wish I would start again, but will probably not take it up any time soon, I need to write and don’t find enough time to. :-/
    Hey, everyone has their own problems 😉


    1. Yes, and thank you and HUGS, and all my love. I’ll get over this hump. Things have just felt out of control and I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to kick myself out of it soon. LoL

  2. I never doubted it for a second, Pinky. You are HERE.

    I’m so glad you are. I know things are rough, but you owe no-one your writing, not even yourself. I hope your time knitting and watching has been good ‘down-time’ for your mind, and restful for your soul. There is a time for all things, even not-writing.

    That said, I’d take the tropical holiday if I could – I’m in sore need of some warmth and sunshine.

    The thing I do when I’m feeling hopeless is go to sleep. I think it’s the human equivalent of hitting Ctrl + Alt +Del a few times.

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