#BeReal,  Life,  Writing

Just Not Feeling It

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Dear Lunatics,

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I wish I could say that there was a really good reason for why I haven’t written in so long. Well, actually, there are several very good reasons, which I am not going to talk about in a public forum. Basically, life has just been overwhelming. Mostly, though, I just haven’t felt motivated to write. Frankly, I haven’t been motivated to do very much at all lately. I’ve been reading a little bit (Middle English literature, Order of Seven by Beth Teliho, and After Alice by Gregory Maguire), knitting a lot (because it helps me take my mind off of my other problems), and watching movies, among other things. But no writing.

It’s not for lack of inspiration. There’s been plenty of that recently. One week in which it seemed as if there was a death of a celebrity every day is definitely something to write about. And I thought about it. I even composed posts and poems in my head but they never made it onto a single page. Even today, I read about China (Hong Kong) banning the sale of ivory for good. Now that is definitely something to write about, right?

But I’m just not feeling it. Truth to tell, I’m not sure what I feel like except overwhelmed and exhausted and frustrated. Lately all I feel like doing is curling up into a ball and sleeping until everything sorts itself out. Other times I just want to escape to some tropical island and lay around on the beach under the sun with the ocean surf in my ears and the sun on my skin and forget about everything for a while. Maybe I need a vacation.

What do you do when you are “just not feeling it”?

A part of me wants to write, it really does, and I’ve had some good ideas recently but I almost deliberately don’t record them in any fashion. So I forget them. In a way, I’m consciously sabotaging myself. Has this ever happened to you?

For now, I’m just going to keep on reading and knitting and working through things. I know I’ll get back into writing when I’m ready. Until then I’ll have some good material to feed my mind and soul, and something pretty and colorful to work on and give to someone when it’s completed.

I am still here.

xo Jesi

 

Jesi Scott is an aspiring writer of novels, a poet, and blogger. She has guest-blogged over at The Well-Tempered Bards, and has a post featured at For Love Of…. Jesi has two poems published in Memories of Mist, a literary anthology, and one published story in a newsletter. She is currently working on releasing her first poetry collection as well as writing her first novel. When not writing, Jesi can be found getting lost in bookstores, singing and dancing around the house, experiencing culture with friends, and generally having fun with her four sons when they aren’t driving her weeping into her closet, which she calls her Padded Cell. She loves to rescue stray bookmarks, as well as books, and has opened her heart to any and all stories needing a home. Archery is her current favorite thing ever but you might want to stand back a little as she still has a tendency to drop the bow occasionally.

4 Comments

  • Dawn D

    I didn’t really want to like this post, but the raw honesty in it deserves my ‘like’.
    I know that feeling like all you want to do is curl up in a ball and wait for things to get better. Sometimes, it’s not such a bad idea really. And at other times, acting on it helps. I experienced that yesterday.

    Maybe look at this link, if it could help?
    https://www.guardian-angel-reading.com/blog-of-the-angels/12-well-being-rules/
    Or that one?

    I know they helped me.

    Hugs, and keep knitting. Wish I would start again, but will probably not take it up any time soon, I need to write and don’t find enough time to. :-/
    Hey, everyone has their own problems 😉

    XO

  • lrconsiderer

    I never doubted it for a second, Pinky. You are HERE.

    I’m so glad you are. I know things are rough, but you owe no-one your writing, not even yourself. I hope your time knitting and watching has been good ‘down-time’ for your mind, and restful for your soul. There is a time for all things, even not-writing.

    That said, I’d take the tropical holiday if I could – I’m in sore need of some warmth and sunshine.

    The thing I do when I’m feeling hopeless is go to sleep. I think it’s the human equivalent of hitting Ctrl + Alt +Del a few times.

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