Hypocrisy and Why Love Doesn’t Win

Hypocrisy: the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense.

Hypocrisy is something I am all too familiar with. I first became aware of it when I turned 13 and began realizing that there were people in my life who said they loved me yet acted in a manner inconsistent with their words. At the same time, I became increasingly aware of this same practice in the church we attended. As I grew, I watched the hypocrisy grow around me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I was intensely sensitive when I was younger, I wore my heart on my sleeve as my mother was always telling me, and hypocrisy hurt. So much. I just could not understand how people could say one thing but act in a completely different way. It made me realize I did not want to be a hypocrite. I wanted to say exactly what I meant and follow through. “Treat others the way you want to be treated”-the golden rule-became, not just my policy, but my religion and belief system, and it still holds true for me today.

I had not intended to speak about anything that happened this week, but last night a blog friend, Crystal Cook, posted a status update on her timeline, and I feel the need to support her. Her thoughts exactly match my own. And so I am posting what she said here and I will follow with my own thoughts.

From Crystal R. Cook

” In the past several weeks I have read much about religion, racial inequality and injustice; about my rights, and your rights, intermingled with all the political rhetoric regularly being regurgitated from soapbox after soapbox, and some of it even makes sense, some of it even sounds good, but . . .

Yesterday Facebook (the internet, the country) was inundated with a celebratory frenzy that seemed to take on a life of its own, but I couldn’t help but notice an insidious thread of hypocrisy weaving in and out of it all.

I saw so many posts that began with statements like “Love and equality wins” and ended with vicious vitriol toward those who didn’t feel the same. Honestly, it was disheartening. How can you celebrate love while feeling so much hatred and anger?

I saved a few examples, I want you to understand what I am talking about.

“I am so happy right now!!! I wonder how many conservatives just put a gun to their heads and pulled the trigger? LOL Not enough i’m sure!”

“Today love overcame and the haters(basicaly all republicans) can drown and die in their tears.”

“Love wins!! I love seeing all the rainbows on my wall, it makes it easier to see who I should delete from my friends list hahaha!”

“Wow! What an amazing day for love and acceptance! If any of you are not on board i have no need for you in my liufe, either be happy and join in or delete yourself from my page.”

“Now if we can just get the supreme court to do something about christianity the world will be worth living in again.”

I know there were those who said ugly things about the ruling, I didn’t see any personally, but I know how people are – Anyone on either side of this particular fence who spewed hatred toward those of opposing views are equally awful to me.

The worst part is – I would have never expected such a thing from the people it came from.

I’m having a hard time processing the judgmental calling others judgmental, someone preaching about acceptance who refuses to accept others. Someone saying we need to embrace each other in love *with exceptions, of course*. It’s not supposed to work that way.

From what I have read lately, I must be one of the unworthy and awful based on the blanket judgment that if you are white, conservative, and Christian you must be a racist, homophobic, zealot.

This country is going to tear itself apart, one person at a time.
By the way . . . I am NONE of those things and yet some of you who say you’re my friend flat out lumped me into that category with statements on your timelines yesterday.


What Crystal said brought tears to my eyes because I have ALWAYS felt this way. Hypocrisy is a sick and twisted virus that spreads, and the sad thing is that people who are normally kind and caring people speak this way when their beliefs are challenged or when they are feeling righteous or when they are trying to impress others.

My “views” are shaped by what I see around me. And lately, I am seeing a lot of hypocrisy, hate, anger, dissension, and Negativity wearing a very satisfied smile and rubbing it’s hands together with glee. And it makes me terribly sad. I believe in honesty, so for it’s sake I must take a stand.

I support anyone who has been a victim of hypocrisy, hate, anger, fear, unkindness, meanness for the sake of it, and any and all forms of said feelings and emotions.

We are all human beings and are born the same way, naked and crying, and our blood bleeds red when we are cut. We all are going to die someday. We all experience happiness and love and hate and fear and heartbreak and hunger and need. We all want to be loved. We all have the SAME rights regardless of religion, race, culture, belief, sexuality, gender, etc. No one  religion, race, culture, belief, sexuality, gender, etc., is superior over the other. To me, it is all common sense, and the fact that people cannot see what is right there in front of them makes me incredibly sad and disillusioned.

We have more important things than this to worry about. There are people starving, homeless, in need of clean water, in need of medical supplies and vaccines, people who have been hit by natural disasters in need of everything, people being abused, diseases we have no cure for yet, children who have no one to help them, animals in danger of extinction, and here we all are arguing and focusing on hate, not love. It’s time to stop being hypocrites and remember, we are all the same. It’s time to put into practice what your “views” really are instead of saying it.

We MUST begin to practice tolerance and compassion and kindness and love for everyone. As I said in my last poem posted “love builds up, does not destroy.” It’s time to #BuildLove so we can truly say #LoveWins.

All my love,




Jesi Kay
Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

12 Replies to “Hypocrisy and Why Love Doesn’t Win

    1. Yes! She spoke my heart and I’m so glad she did. I don’t speak my heart on things like this often but between her and another friend of mine, I felt I had to speak up. Because it does bother me. To me, it’s all such stupidity. It’s common sense. Rights are rights. We ALL have them. And there are so many more important issues than WHO has rights. You were dead on.

  1. I don’t know what to say . . . thank you. I almost didn’t say anything at all, I was certain I would be attacked for the way I was feeling, but something amazing happened and I found others were feeling the same way, I felt supported and it touched my heart. I typically remain silent on things like this as well, I think so many of us do. As hard as it is and as vulnerable as it makes us, I think we need to speak our hearts, goodness knows everyone else is and I don’t want theirs to be the only voice out there.

    You guys made my heart smile – even if ugliness finds it’s way in to peck at what I said, I am glad I said it. Of course, I may have spoken with a bit more eloquence if I’d known more than a scant few would read it!

    1. Truth doesn’t need eloquence. It just needs to be said.
      I don’t like dissension; I prefer harmony and usually go out of my way to smooth things over, even if it means I accept responsibility for things I shouldn’t, or to hide behind a veil of silence instead of speaking up and making waves.
      I am so glad you spoke up. It made it easier for me to do so as well, especially on something that really does hurt my heart.

  2. This is so amazing and it makes my heart smile to know that there are others out there that feel the same. Call it hypocrisy, double standard… Whatever its name I see it too. It leaves me sad, disgusted, hopeless. Thank you for expressing my thoughts through your words. Going to reblog!

    1. Thank you so much! Crystal’s feelings, and those of one of my best friends, just need to be heard, so others who feel the same way will speak out, too.

  3. Hear, hear, Jesi! I see this in political dialogues too. Forums and posts where, on the one hand, sense prevails, then hateful comments are made on all sides, belittling and undermining any value of the initial stance. Human rights are human, not dependent on other factors. When will we learn?

    1. I think some of us have learned, Momus, but the majority still rules and unfortunately, they like dissension. I don’t like politics. It makes me sick at my stomach because it seems to me as if both sides just want to keep people divided so they create issues out of non-issues just for the sake of it. And the key word you used is HUMAN rights. It makes me sad that the majority must argue that point. So, I’d like to know what their definition is of HUMAN.

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