Et Tu, Brute
As most of you know, I do love my Shakespeare (you’d think the blog name would make that obvious, huh? 😉 ). I’m inspired, often, by his words. I’ve even decided on a quote to use for a tattoo (if I’m ever brave enough to get one) from my favorite Shakespeare sonnet. That’s how much I love his work. I even know how I want it to look and where I’d want it to go. Unfortunately, I’m a bit of a coward in that particular area. But maybe one day, when I’m a bit more courageous.
I often surprise myself however, when I find myself writing something that brings to mind a quote or a memory from something he’s written. Maybe it’s nothing to do with the actual meaning of it, but is still applicable. Sometimes, I write about what I hear or feel when I read his words.
Today when I sat down to write, I let my mind wander. From somewhere in the shadows, I heard Caesar’s voice, so I let whatever came from it just happen.
Welcome to just a shade of how my mind works.
Et Tu, Brute
By Jesi Scott
I can’t even write.
I sit and stare at this blank page and wonder what words to type.
Nothing is really coming. So I’m letting stream of consciousness take over.
To be honest, I have so much on my mind, too much, and I don’t know how to get past it all.
Or what to do.
Life has never been easy for me; the hard way seems to be my path in life
-always working hard to get anywhere-
And lately it’s even harder than usual.
You see, I’m stuck.
There are things that I feel inadequate to handle, things too big and too hard to acknowledge and accept,
Things too frightening to contemplate,
And things I can’t even begin to understand just yet.
But I know that if I let all of these things continue then there is a danger of losing myself
And those I care about most.
How do you learn to let go and fall without anything to catch you?
How do you leave all you love behind and begin anew?
Part of me just wants to hide my head and wait for the storm to pass
-She is scared, and wants everything to be back to some standard of normal she’s accepted as an ideal because it’s safe and expected-
But then there’s Her who knows the only way to survive the storm is to go through it
-she’s the brave one, the fearless one who fights for truth, believes in love and the overall goodness of people, the one ready to break free and be reborn a phoenix in flight-
Except she loves the scared, peace-loving harmonic part, and bites her tongue and bides her time.
There will be a day when the last straw will break and chains will fall from scarred wrists
And lungs will breathe fresh, free air.
Beware that day you who reads all my words, you who watches, you who holds the chains tight.
Beware, then, my ides of March; like Caesar, you too shall fall.