Poetry

Et Tu, Brute

As most of you know, I do love my Shakespeare (you’d think the blog name would make that obvious, huh? 😉 ). I’m inspired, often, by his words. I’ve even decided on a quote to use for a tattoo (if I’m ever brave enough to get one) from my favorite Shakespeare sonnet. That’s how much I love his work. I even know how I want it to look and where I’d want it to go. Unfortunately, I’m a bit of a coward in that particular area. But maybe one day, when I’m a bit more courageous.

I often surprise myself however, when I find myself writing something that brings to mind a quote or a memory from something he’s written. Maybe it’s nothing to do with the actual meaning of it, but is still applicable. Sometimes, I write about what I hear or feel when I read his words.

Today when I sat down to write, I let my mind wander. From somewhere in the shadows, I heard Caesar’s voice, so I let whatever came from it just happen.

Welcome to just a shade of how my mind works.

Jesi

 

Et Tu, Brute

By Jesi Scott

 

I can’t even write.

I sit and stare at this blank page and wonder what words to type.

Nothing is really coming. So I’m letting stream of consciousness take over.

To be honest, I have so much on my mind, too much, and I don’t know how to get past it all.

Or what to do.

Life has never been easy for me; the hard way seems to be my path in life

-always working hard to get anywhere-

And lately it’s even harder than usual.

You see, I’m stuck.

There are things that I feel inadequate to handle, things too big and too hard to acknowledge and accept,

Things too frightening to contemplate,

And things I can’t even begin to understand just yet.

But I know that if I let all of these things continue then there is a danger of losing myself

And those I care about most.

How do you learn to let go and fall without anything to catch you?

How do you leave all you love behind and begin anew?

Part of me just wants to hide my head and wait for the storm to pass

-She is scared, and wants everything to be back to some standard of normal she’s accepted as an ideal because it’s safe and expected-

But then there’s Her who knows the only way to survive the storm is to go through it

-she’s the brave one, the fearless one who fights for truth, believes in love and the overall goodness of people, the one ready to break free and be reborn a phoenix in flight-

Except she loves the scared, peace-loving harmonic part, and bites her tongue and bides her time.

There will be a day when the last straw will break and chains will fall from scarred wrists

And lungs will breathe fresh, free air.

Beware that day you who reads all my words, you who watches, you who holds the chains tight.

Beware, then, my ides of March; like Caesar, you too shall fall.

Jesi Scott is an aspiring writer of novels, a poet, and blogger. She has guest-blogged over at The Well-Tempered Bards, and has a post featured at For Love Of…. Jesi has two poems published in Memories of Mist, a literary anthology, and one published story in a newsletter. She is currently working on releasing her first poetry collection as well as writing her first novel. When not writing, Jesi can be found getting lost in bookstores, singing and dancing around the house, experiencing culture with friends, and generally having fun with her four sons when they aren’t driving her weeping into her closet, which she calls her Padded Cell. She loves to rescue stray bookmarks, as well as books, and has opened her heart to any and all stories needing a home. Archery is her current favorite thing ever but you might want to stand back a little as she still has a tendency to drop the bow occasionally.

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