There is still a post in the Blogging A to Z Challenge to write, one to genuflect about our progress and how the month went. The final encore before the curtain is drawn for another year.
When I began both April challenges I thought it would end up being a breeze. It was just another writing challenge and it’d be no problem. Oh, hindsight; how you get us every time.
How was I to know the emotional toll writing every day would take? Incorporate life into that and it was more than a roller coaster. April is a hard month to get through for me in the first place. I don’t go into it thinking about how hard it’s going to be. I never do. But somehow, by the end of the month, I’m just happy to have made it through and want to spend May in a spa resort (not that I ever get to-sigh).
So, what have I learned from the challenges? It’s almost too early to know the full impact it’s made. But there are some things that I do know right now.
Firstly, I can sit down and write every day, even if I’m feeling like I’d rather NOT write at all. Secondly, I can write a decent poem in a form I’ve never used before (Sapphics specifically). Thirdly, people are rather wonderful about lifting you up even when, or maybe especially when, you feel that all you’ve written is worthless and awful.
I’ve also learned that my words inspire my friends when I didn’t think I was having any impact at all. Living vicariously through the wires is sometimes an illusion. The relationships you think you are making might not actually exist in life. And yet…if it weren’t for Rod, Lizzi, and Cindy encouraging and supporting so unselfishly, I’m not sure I would have actually finished both challenges. I thought often of cheating and throwing an already written poem up onto the blog, and I did do one (that was a very hard day for me so I think one cheat out of 30 isn’t such an awful thing), but I persevered and finished, hopefully, on a strong note.
Out of everything I wrote this month, I think my own personal favorite is Evanesce. It’s been a while but that was the aubade I had to write. For me, it was almost a plea. It’s how I feel when I’m weary of the world, weary of being bound and shackled in a body. I’m not free to fly away; I’m just a caged bird desperately trying to spread my wings and fly into the sun only to find myself clipped and locked up tight.
If you visited my blog during this last month, what was your favorite poem that I wrote? I would love to hear.