I Accept Your Challenge and Another Chapter Begins

I did the challenge from yesterday, you guys, but my video was still rendering so I am putting it up along with the next challenge, which is…Another Chapter Begins. Okay, maybe it’s just me but some of these challenges hit amazingly close to home. Today’s prompt is exactly what started me off on this new journey that I began almost a year ago. When my dad died, it was a huge kick in the butt. It opened my eyes to a lot of things that I’d been ignoring for far too long. At some point, I found this inspirational picture:

end

My life was going in a direction I didn’t want it to go. A year ago today I was 170 pounds. I had no direction, no ambition, and a life that was in turmoil. Then, just before Thanksgiving my dad escaped the pain from the pancreatic cancer eating away at him. I felt lost, angry, fragile. I thought I had let him down, and that he wasn’t proud of me. I don’t think my dad ever knew that I write poetry and want to publish a novel. So, I threw away all of my old thinking. I became determined to change my life to make him proud of me. I changed my whole lifestyle cold turkey. I signed up for a 5k run and began training. I began eating better and taking care of my body. From this time last year to this past April I went from 170 pounds to 130. No fad dieting, just eating balanced and exercising. But that was just the biggest physical change. The most noticeable was I died my hair brown, and I loved it. I recently went back to my blonde as you’ll see in the video but am thinking of going back to the brown (see my About the Author page).

The biggest change to me, however, was in my attitude. Everyone noticed it. I became so postive. A lady who has known me for a very long time, the mother of one of my friends, saw a pic of me after I did my 5k run and said that I didn’t look like myself because I looked happy. It had been a long time since I felt that way. And I was happy. And then, the most amazing thing happened. I was given the beautiful gift of self-realization: it wasn’t my dad who hadn’t been proud of me…it was me. I can’t even begin to describe what I felt when that thought softly landed in my consciousness. It was overwhelming, and I cried. And then, I realized something else. Somewhere along the way, I discovered my own worth.

Today, I am realizing my dreams and seeing goals reached that I never thought I’d reach. I have many more but I’m taking each item on my list one step at a time. And I have no doubt that I will reach them, and the ones I don’t reach, well, those will be the ones I exchange for new ones as my journey keeps taking me into unexpected territory and new experiences.

So, today’s challenge is a reaffirmation to me of everything I’ve been through, how far I’ve come already, and how it all got started. Thank you, Julie, for this prompt!

And Morgan, I wrote you a poem after reading yesterday’s challenge (lol) but I realized that if I put it up, it might not come across too well, though the intent was a playful, teasing one. Just so you know…and I hope I rose to your challenge. 🙂

xo Jesi

Day 22 Challenge:

Day 23 Challenge:

next chapter

I Turned the Page

By Jessica Scott

 

He died.

That was the end of his story.

But I had to go on with mine

Through the cold and ice that his death brought.

I had to go on and face the world

Without his strong arms to hold me,

Without his love to carry me,

Without his smile to light my way.

He died, and that was the end.

 

But a new light began to shine

From within my own heart,

For the ice melted and spring came

And with it a new path.

I didn’t like how my story was going,

So I turned the page.

 

He died and that was the end of his story…

…but I am daring to change the ending to mine.