OctPoWriMo

I Accept Your Challenge and Another Chapter Begins

I did the challenge from yesterday, you guys, but my video was still rendering so I am putting it up along with the next challenge, which is…Another Chapter Begins. Okay, maybe it’s just me but some of these challenges hit amazingly close to home. Today’s prompt is exactly what started me off on this new journey that I began almost a year ago. When my dad died, it was a huge kick in the butt. It opened my eyes to a lot of things that I’d been ignoring for far too long. At some point, I found this inspirational picture:

end

My life was going in a direction I didn’t want it to go. A year ago today I was 170 pounds. I had no direction, no ambition, and a life that was in turmoil. Then, just before Thanksgiving my dad escaped the pain from the pancreatic cancer eating away at him. I felt lost, angry, fragile. I thought I had let him down, and that he wasn’t proud of me. I don’t think my dad ever knew that I write poetry and want to publish a novel. So, I threw away all of my old thinking. I became determined to change my life to make him proud of me. I changed my whole lifestyle cold turkey. I signed up for a 5k run and began training. I began eating better and taking care of my body. From this time last year to this past April I went from 170 pounds to 130. No fad dieting, just eating balanced and exercising. But that was just the biggest physical change. The most noticeable was I died my hair brown, and I loved it. I recently went back to my blonde as you’ll see in the video but am thinking of going back to the brown (see my About the Author page).

The biggest change to me, however, was in my attitude. Everyone noticed it. I became so postive. A lady who has known me for a very long time, the mother of one of my friends, saw a pic of me after I did my 5k run and said that I didn’t look like myself because I looked happy. It had been a long time since I felt that way. And I was happy. And then, the most amazing thing happened. I was given the beautiful gift of self-realization: it wasn’t my dad who hadn’t been proud of me…it was me. I can’t even begin to describe what I felt when that thought softly landed in my consciousness. It was overwhelming, and I cried. And then, I realized something else. Somewhere along the way, I discovered my own worth.

Today, I am realizing my dreams and seeing goals reached that I never thought I’d reach. I have many more but I’m taking each item on my list one step at a time. And I have no doubt that I will reach them, and the ones I don’t reach, well, those will be the ones I exchange for new ones as my journey keeps taking me into unexpected territory and new experiences.

So, today’s challenge is a reaffirmation to me of everything I’ve been through, how far I’ve come already, and how it all got started. Thank you, Julie, for this prompt!

And Morgan, I wrote you a poem after reading yesterday’s challenge (lol) but I realized that if I put it up, it might not come across too well, though the intent was a playful, teasing one. Just so you know…and I hope I rose to your challenge. 🙂

xo Jesi

Day 22 Challenge:

Day 23 Challenge:

next chapter

I Turned the Page

By Jessica Scott

 

He died.

That was the end of his story.

But I had to go on with mine

Through the cold and ice that his death brought.

I had to go on and face the world

Without his strong arms to hold me,

Without his love to carry me,

Without his smile to light my way.

He died, and that was the end.

 

But a new light began to shine

From within my own heart,

For the ice melted and spring came

And with it a new path.

I didn’t like how my story was going,

So I turned the page.

 

He died and that was the end of his story…

…but I am daring to change the ending to mine.

 

Jesi Kay, poet and aspiring novelist, was born in the Texas panhandle where wide skies, lazy summer days, and rolling thunderstorms sparked her imagination and left lasting memories in her blood. An early reader, poetry and mythology were her passions. So much so that when she was ten years old her step-father gave her his college mythology textbooks to read, which were full of classic poetry and more than enough tales to fill her romantic and inquisitive nature. Jesi loves reading, art, going to the theater, the romanticism of the Victorian era (but not the missing conveniences of indoor plumbing and central air conditioning), running when the heat and humidity cooperate, and cold weather so she can wear her favorite boots and knitwear. Also, she still has those college mythology textbooks, a little worse for wear over time but still intact and telling their stories to her. Jesi is a contributor at The Well Tempered Bards blog and at www.octpowrimo.com.

15 Comments

      • Cindy

        Next to meet your Face, Jess, after reading your beautifully touching and personal poetry it is a pleasure to meet you practically face to face (almost). Your voice is wonderful too! ~extends hand to you~ Hi! 🙂

        • Jessica

          ~shakes hands~
          Hi, Cindy! Nice to meet (sort of) you, too!
          And thanks for the compliment on my voice. I went through 5 tries to get just this one video because I was so nervous. Believe it or not but I nearly went into doing audiobooks back in my early twenties. Was nearly recruited for a politcal campaign for cold calling because they thought I had the perfect voice for it. Too bad I hated calling anyone. LOL.

  • lrconsiderer

    HEYYYYY! So nice to ‘meet’ you 🙂 You have a lovely voice. I’m glad you did this, even if I chickened out 😀 I liked hearing you read. The last one is my favourite – it’s really good.

    And the written one here – such power in that ending, and such determination! Oy! Great stuff 🙂

    • Jessica

      Thanks Lizzie! I came tthhhiiiiissss close to chickening out. You should read the poem I wrote for Morgan. LOL
      But I have been trying to kick myself out of my comfort zones and it’s been worth it. But I was so nervous doing that. 😉 And thanks on the compliment about my voice. I was kind of worried about how I looked and sounded. I nearly didn’t put it up.
      And that last one…definitely for my dad. And yeah, I have lots of determination. Took me a long time to realize that being stubborn and persistent was NOT always a bad thing.

      • lrconsiderer

        As one who is stubborn and pig-headed (no, wait, ‘persistent’ is much better, isn’t it?), I can quite understand. I use it to my advantage as much as to my detriment, I think.

        You sound good. I’m glad you put it up 🙂

        Which poem did you write for Morgan?

        I’m on vlog…elsewhere in the internet – it’s not that I’d have a problem doing it (okay, right this second NOW, I would, because I’m in a crappy top with my hair still wet and tangly from the shower…but in principle) – it’s just I haven’t made TIME.

        #Jessica week starts tomorrow and I’m going to be running around after that like a blue-arsed fly, but it’s going to be SO MUCH FUN, and hey – BOOK!, 🙂

        • Jessica

          ROFL…I didn’t put the poem up for Morgan because of the title and I was afraid it might come across wrong, though I think the poem i splayful and teasing.

          Time schmime…there’s never enough of it and, yeah, you will be pretty busy. Surprised you’ll even get anything written.

            • Jessica

              Hahaha!
              I am a tease…

              Tell you what…tomorrow after I get my post up, I’ll create a ‘blind’ page with the poem on it. (not that it’s bad…and I probably can put it up but you know how some people might not get the nature of it) And then I’ll DM you the link through Twitter. Sound like a plan?

  • Angela van Son

    Jesi I like everything about this page. Your personal story, you reading there (three!) of your poems, the introduction of your reading and the beautiful new poem. I love how easy you are to listen to. It’s your voice, the tempo, your articulation, and the way you are connected to your poems.

    Great accomplisment!

    • Jessica

      You made me cry!
      Thank you so much! I do have to laugh about the articulation. I don’t receive that compliment very often. Being born and raised in Texas, I am an odd duck because I do not have the traditional Texas accent. But you should hear my whole family. Thick accents the lot of them, 🙂
      And I’m so happy you like the page. That means a lot to me. Hemingway said “write one true sentence” so I try to practice that. So, thank you so much!

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